The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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