Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
