hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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