the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
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i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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