He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
