He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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