so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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