I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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