i was born a porn star she said
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
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