It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
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It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
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Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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