I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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