I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
