you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
