Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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