the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
it hurts more in the daytime
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
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