I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Life is so much better after having sex.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize