I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Randomize