WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
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