no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
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