My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
