He is such a slut. More and more my type.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I think I have vodka in my lungs
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
That accounts for only three of the penises
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize