Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
