she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
