At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
