So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
