check it out our google latitudes are spooning
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
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