do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
