I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
