We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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