just come out here and I will go home with you...
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
