Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize