No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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