the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
