Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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