From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Randomize
