dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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