His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Houston, we have a blender
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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