Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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