All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
