what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
