I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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