Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
false alarm, still single
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
