Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
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