Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
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Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
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You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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