You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
smell my finger.
only you would photoshop your dick
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Randomize