opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
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