I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
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I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
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I could fuck to npr.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
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