I'm jealous of your bromance
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
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