I bet he comes in French.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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