Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Randomize
