Dual....:-)
Duck Duck Cougar?
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Randomize
