Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
And then he peed in my hair
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