She said her name was "party"
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
