it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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