I wish I could punch you in the face.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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