history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
And my parents said I crawled through the house
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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