Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Randomize
