I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
