so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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