sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
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We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
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I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
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