I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
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