Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Everything about him screamed your future.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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