I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
