you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize