im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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